For a few years now I have wanted to run. I went to cheer a couple of my friends on through the finish line at a marathon they were running in and the energy there was incredible. Everyone was so supportive of each other and there were people that would run back after they finished to help along others getting close to the finish line. There were other people cheering and high fiving from the sidelines. Some of the time these people didn't even know each other but that didn't and doesn't matter. It's all about the support and knowing that each persons battle is their own and we all need encouragement. I felt a stirring of something that day and knew I wanted to feel that camaraderie someday. I don't know that I'll ever run a marathon. At this point I'm glad to be doing what I do and if I get there someday than awesome, if not, as long as I'm happy than I don't care.
I thought about trying to run a few times after that day of cheering on my friends. I even tried and just couldn't do it. It hurt. It hurt my lungs due to the activity induced asthma I battle off and on, it hurt my short legs, giving me shin splints and stiff muscles, it hurt my confidence when I couldn't do it. It hurt. I had tried to do it different ways, all at once, in run/walk intervals, in a few minutes this week and then a minute more the next... I gave up decided that I wasn't meant to be a runner. Then one Sunday in July 2011 I decided I'd try the Couch Potato to 5k program I was reading about online. I had tried it once before and given up 10-15 minutes into Week 1/Day 1. I said to myself, "Tomorrow morning I'm going to try this again and if I can do it I can, if I can't I can't. But I have to try." So Monday morning I got up and said to Shay, "I'll see you in half an hour, I'm going to go run." He probably laughed in his head because he'd heard that one before. :) I walked down the road to the church building I live by and I started my timer on my phone and I ran 60 seconds and walked 90 seconds for 20 minutes. Back and forth, back and forth. I didn't care who saw me and how I looked. I just did it. It was tough but I did it! I did it!! Wow, so maybe I can do this again! So on Wednesday morning I did! Friday too! Week one was under my belt. That felt good.
A couple weeks into it I started noticing the usual shin splint pain I got bothering me. I was talking to one of my friends at the salon about it and she had me go outside and show her how I ran. She gave me a few pointers about how I was landing on my feet and what she and others have found to help and work better. She told me about Chi Running. So after 5 or so minutes of messing around outside we had to go back in and get back to hair. That night I got on YouTube and looked up Chi Running videos. I watched them over and over and tried to memorize the pattern they ran in. The next time I ran I kept repeating in my head, "land on your mid foot not your heel, keep your head up and shoulders back, loosen your shoulders, relax and run, you can do it" and you know what, I did! It felt more natural, it still hurt my tired overweight legs but it didn't hurt my shins. I kept practicing and I know I'm not perfect at it but I hardly ever have shin problems anymore. I can tell though when I get lazy about my stance. So I focus.
5 weeks in on Day 3 you run 20 minutes without stopping. "HA! Ya right! There is no way I can do that!! That is so long!" Those are all thoughts that crossed my mind but my friends said, "It's all in your head, you can do it!" That Friday morning I got up and as the sun rose I ran for 20 minutes without stopping. I had downloaded an app on my phone that would tell me when to walk and when to run and I set it to tell me when there was one minute left. When my phone told me "you have one minute left" I burst into tears. I did it! I made it! I can't believe I just ran for 20 minutes without stopping!!!!! I was king of the world and I could do anything! I cried for almost 10 minutes after. It had been something I was so afraid of that when I conquered it those emotions were raw and real. I don't think I'll ever forget it. I have tears in my eyes right now remembering that feeling. That is why I want to write this all down. Because I don't want to forget and I want to inspire others to reach their goals.
There were 4 more weeks until the program was done and the last week is running for 30 minutes without stopping. According to the program you should be doing a 5k by then but that is very unrealistic in my mind. That is if you can run a 10 minute mile! Most beginners that have been leading an inactive lifestyle do not run that fast right away. I was ok with that though and did not expect more than to run 30 min. I did it and it was great but not as great at the 20 minute run. :) You see at that point I knew I could do it. 30 minutes, pshaw, that's only 10 more than the 20 and you build up to that in 3 minute increments over 3 weeks. No big deal but still amazing! Does that make sense to you? I hope so. I had crossed my hurdle and it was smooth sailing from there.
I decided to do a 5k for Halloween. I had since run 3 miles and was excited to participate in my first race. I told myself not to have any expectations, to just have fun and finish the run. I was fortunate to know the race route so I practiced it. The first time I about died. 1.5 miles of a gradual climb! I didn't train for a hill! I just ran on the street and sidewalks around my house! But it didn't matter, I could do it, I just had to practice. So after that first try I went home and researched hill running. The next time I ran it I felt much better and I did it in 43 minutes and even did it in 41 minutes another time. YAY! Then the next few times it was bad. Especially the last run before the race. I did horrible. My legs were killing me, my feet were lead, the hills were mountains... I was slow and had to walk a few times. My total time was 47 minutes. 6 minutes more than the time before. That scared me. What if the race day I performed like that!? (Heaven forbid my first 5k be hard!) "It's ok" everyone said. "You'll do better, you'll run faster, you'll be surprised at the difference the adrenaline makes." Ok, I have to trust my trained friends. I can do it.
Race day comes and I'm at the salon when someone asks, "How are you feeling? Are you so excited!?" I answered, "NO! I'm not scared but I'm not excited. I don't know what I am." We talked and the two words that I felt described me best were anxious and antsy. I just couldn't wait to experience it and be done. But I also wanted to enjoy the day knowing I'd never have another "first ever race day" again so I tried to just take the day as it came. It was a beautiful day. Perfect weather, I don't remember a fall a beautiful as this one. Which is perfect because I don't think I've experienced a fall so full of growth and beauty in my own life as this one. I came home from work and got dressed for the run. As I was hanging out waiting for the start I felt the same anxious and antsy feelings as earlier but excitement started to creep in. All these people, and a handful I knew, there to support me and to run as well. One of my friends gave me a hug right before it started and there was this energy buzzing all around. It was electric! Then all of a sudden everyone is running. So I start running and then I start CRYING! Crying because I couldn't believe that here I was, 14 weeks after I decided to "try just one more time", running my first 5k. I did it! I made it! All my hard work and training has paid off and here I am running with hundreds of people in the dark! I made myself stop crying, I had 3 miles in front of me. So I tried to coach myself along, reminding myself to watch my pace and not get too caught up and end up burned out half way through. The next thing I knew I was already 1 mile in and it had flown by. I knew in 1/2 a mile was the hardest climb. I was starting to get out of the group of people so I just kept my pace and went along. As I rounded a corner I admired the runners that were almost done and I was only half way through. A little envious at their speed and ability but mostly admiration. I imagine they have never run for the first time, 50 pounds overweight. They probably started when they were young, or still are young and have lots of experience. We all have our seasons and they come at different times for each of us. I feel no pressure to be where they are. :)
Anyhow, so here it is, the hardest little climb. Probably as steep as my stairs but steep enough to take my breath away. You reach mile 2.1 at the top, level out for 1/4 and then down hill from there. I felt great though. I kept going and going and I embraced the labored breathing. I kept it even and never let it get out of control and I kept my pace at the top. It helped that the people that lived in the neighborhood were outside cheering us on and the kids were giving us high fives. Just like at my friends race oh so long ago. Here it was my turn, and I'm crying again! Telling each kid, "Thank you!" as our hands touch. Wow am I blessed to know that feeling. Pure support and enthusiasm. I've felt in other areas of my life but it was so different that night. It was magical.
The downhill run was great. I kept reminding myself about the proper form and just let it take me along. Then there was the finish line in sight. I was so close! I was doing it!! I picked up my speed and I could feel the asthma set in and taste that nasty bloody flavor I get when I've done a little too much but I didn't care. It wasn't hurting I could just hear it and I was so close to finishing! I could see the clock and I was going to finish faster than I had ever done it! There are my friends and my husband cheering me on! I crossed the finish line at 39:52! So fast for me! My fastest yet! I cried a little again as Shay hugged me telling me "Good job!"
I crossed my first and not my last finish line. I have worked SO hard at this. It has been a discouraging, scary, painful, depressing, motivating, exciting, healthy, happy, self esteem boosting few months and I would never ever take it back. I'm so blessed and grateful to have been on this journey and have felt overwhelmed by the support from all my friends, runners and non-runners. I hope if anyone reads my novel, which I don't expect anyone to, that they feel the emotions I tried to describe and I hope that I have encouraged at least one person to try that one thing they have always wanted to. No matter what it is there are always people that will support you and be able to help you along the way. They always say, "Nothing worth having comes easy" It is true. Every great thing in my life I've had to work for and it makes it all the better when you finally make it. So there it is. I'm not the best or fastest runner but I am doing it and trying to learn as I go. I'm happy with that and I'm happy to where I am. It's further than I was and I'm on the path to keep going further.
