We got married in the Timpanogos Temple in March 2006. Shay grew up in Utah and I grew up in Montana. We love being with eachother, but still enjoy our "alone time". Someday we will have children and then our lives will be alot more interesting!
Monday, August 17, 2009
I need your help. Sigh... I'm not right. I'm crabby, angry, resentful, impatient, frustrated, anxious, and sad. To sum it up I've been feeling pretty stressed lately. This is normal but it's not normal for me to lay in bed until 3 am thinking of how awful it is to have people needing me and my help. I usually love helping people out! When I started being angry at my dear husband for needing love from me I realized something is not right. Well, to be honest, I think it's my own fault. Stress is normal, life is crazy and we are all bound to feel overwhelmed. However, usually there is something better in my life to help lift me above the stresses and I've left it behind in the dirt. The Gospel. I have not been wanting to go to church for the past couple months. Absolutely NO desire. I was already forcing myself to go for a few months before that and I just got tired of going, so I stopped. For a few weeks it was OK. It felt good to sleep in and wake up with Shay in bed with me. I justified, "It's the only day of the week we have together. The other days we are working." Well, now a little down the road I'm depressed and unable to handle things with a positive attitude. SO! It stops today. Church going resumes again on Sunday and a better attitude begins now. I really want to be a happy Daughter of God. With that comes a happy wife, sister, daughter of earthly parents, friend, hairstylist, and hopefully someday mother. I want to be someone that people look up to for my ability to rise above and be proud of who I am. So... My plea for your help comes in at this point. Please help me. Please pray for me to have the strength and motivation to get out of bed and GO to church. Pray that I may be proud of myself and be the kind, loving, patient person I want to be. I know Heavenly Father loves me, I know he supports me and I know he knows me. I know I can overcome my human nature and I know I am beautiful in many people's eyes. Thank you for all loving me and for your support. I'll pray for you in return. I love you many times over!!!! Heart, Dest
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10 comments:
That was a really honest post, Destiny. It's not always easy to go to Church when you feel like you don't always feel uplifted every week, but it's worth going every week for a couple reasons (among others): 1) We're blessed by being obedient. 2) We can't expect to be blessed when we aren’t in the right place doing the right things. I'm honestly not very good at reading my scriptures every night, but I know that when I do, I am more blessed. I may not notice big things, but just having an added measure of the Spirit is worth it.
I'm glad you're re-dedicated. You could also rededicate yourself this Sunday at the Oquirrh Hills Temple dedication. There isn’t any church this Sunday, just the dedication at your chapel or stake center. You can choose to go at 9am or 3pm (doors close ½ hour before the meeting). If you haven't gotten a ticket from a member of your bishopric yet, just show up with your temple recommend and a white handkerchief and they’ll probably let you in. It’s perfect timing for your self-rededication (seeing as our bodies are temples, right?).
I hope you don’t mind my response. I'll keep you in my prayers this week. I hope things start getting better/feeling better for you.
You're awesome. Keep it up.
Karie
Destiny,
I know EXACTLY how you are felling right now because I myself was in the same spot not too long ago. You know that, we've had talks about it and I can tell you that it gets better. Being of good cheer get's easier, not being overwheelmed by things that used to seem so small gets easier, and slowly you will find that your DESIRE to go to church and read and pray etc will come back full force! I am so proud of you for admiting your feelings and asking for help...that is all the Lord asks of us is to seek him and trust in him. My favorite scripture for times like these is always Ether 12:27, it has helped me through ALL the tough times in my life and I repeat it's last line in my head often. I love you very much and will do whatever I can to help you achieve you goal. Kelly
I'm glad you figured it out on your own what you need to do! I'll pray for you and I love you lots! Life is hard and everyone's trials are different, and for me, I always judge where I am based on everyone else, and that's a really hard habit for me to break, but by doing the things we should everything will work out for the best in the end. Love you!
Oh, Destiny! This post made me want to cry!! I've told Brent that it was never a hard choice to go to Church when I was younger. But, now I'm so tired and it's much harder. Know that you're not alone. And I'm so glad you know how much Heavenly Father loves you. The greatest way to show him how much you love him is to make your life the greatest success by obeying him. And, it brings insane amounts of happiness. Hang in there and I'll definitely pray for you. Love you!
If I may add my 2 cents. You and Shay are amazing people with incredible potential. The biggest thing that you can do it learn the power of the word of God. Read your scriptures. I have struggled with this my entire life until recently. What I have been doing that has been absolutely amazing is everyday I get on LDS.org and pick a random conference talk usually from years ago and I read it. As I read it I cross reference every scripture that is quoted. I have learned more about the gospel in these past 8 weeks or so than I have the past 8 years. May I suggest one to start with? "The Power of the Word" by Pres. Benson. It is amazing. It was given at a Priesthood Leadership training in I think 1982 or 84. It is AWESOME! Once again dont just read it, study it. Cross reference the scriptures that are listed and sited. Good Luck ;)
Cuz, I am with you. I have been struggling to go to church for, oh, 2 years now. We go, but I hate going and am miserable because of a bunch of junk with Sam's job, criminals in our ward, our childrens' lack of safety and some, ahem, altercations between myself and the bishopric pertaining to the former items.
I grumble and gripe and barely make it and have often come home right after sacrament.
So, I am with you and I will think of you every Sunday and think to myself, "If Destiny can do it, I can too."
So do it with me!
This is a tough one. I love you forever but don't be so hard on yourself. Life is hard and it's not always great and sometimes going through the motions just doesn't stir the cool aid. Hang in there, I will pray for you and I thank you for being so open about it. It helps me feel more normal. If all else fails, you can do what I did, go on anti depressants. What a blessing they've been to me. Love you and call me if you want to squeeze a rollerblade session in before the snow comes.
So...ditto what everyone else said! I think we all go through times when it is hard to do the right thing. How awesome of you to figure all this out for yourself and reach out for help and encouragement. Heavenly Father loves you and I love you!!! If you want someone to go to the temple with, please call me. I'm always here for you!
YEah...ditto all of the above. You and I talked about some of this when I was there. I think being an adult and not having Mom and Dad force you to church is hard. We all have our moments. You will be in my prayers.
I love you Dest.
Loves,
Hilary (from long lost good old Platinum days:)
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